Happy Birthday Bridie!

After breakfast in bed, we went on a tour of St Paul's Cathedral in London.

http://www.stpauls.co.uk

Including a climb up to the Whispering Gallery: 259 steps up from ground-level. It gets its name from an apparent quirk in its construction, which makes a whisper against its walls audible on the opposite side. But we couldn't verify this.

All we knew was there were enough steps to make our muscles wobbly.

We went on to the Stone Gallery next, while our leg muscles stayed on the floor below. And Steve took the plunge and went all the way to the Golden Gallery: a total of 530 steps up.

The flowers are from her friends at the Gym. Steve didn't get her any flowers...

All hail the Giant Squid

We have been doing some on-the-spot reporting.

You probably know the Natural History Museum in London has a Giant Squid. The 8.62-metre squid, called Archie, was caught off the coast of the Falkland Islands in March 2004.

http://www.nhm.ac.uk/about-us/news/2006/feb/preparation-of-giant-squid.html
http://www.nhm.ac.uk/about-us/news/2006/feb/news_5255.html
etc..

But Archie isn't on display, you need to book a tour of the Darwin Centre. This is no easy feat, as it is booked out until the end of May now. It seems Giant Squids are popular.

Well we managed to book a slot. And you, faithful believers in the power of the Giant Squid, get to find out how it went.

As you can expect they don't allow flash photography, and really I was only allowed one photo. But in our photo site you'll see some photos and a video:
http://www.fototime.com/inv/C4814A707B36051

Even apart from the Giant Squid, the Darwin Centre rocks. Sure it is mostly pickled animals and plants. And despite my search I couldn't find any brains in jars. But they do have some of the original jars from Darwin and the Beagle expedition. And even the echidna, platypus and kangaroos that were first sent back from Australia in 1880.

http://www.nhm.ac.uk/visit-us/galleries/darwin-centre/

They explained how they prepare specimens. Including using flesh-eating beetles to clean bones. There is actually a webcam to watch them work:

http://www.nhm.ac.uk/kids-only/naturecams/beetlecam/index.html

We thoroughly recommend visiting the Darwin Centre, and checking out the tour.

May the Giant Squid be Merciful and Quick.

St Patrick's Day Parade

Now you all know Bridie wanted to get married on St Patrick Day, just so she could wear green to the wedding. It is all true.

And you also know that we try to spend our anniversary in a different place each year. Though going to Ireland for our first anniversary was clearly cheating.

Last year we went to New York, and watched the St Pat's parade. It is supposed to be the biggest and best. Well compared to Dublin that isn't too hard. Admittedly the Irish have more on their minds rather than parades - there is Shamrock to be drowned!

But I wanted to go in the actual parade. We actually lived in Ireland, which is more than most of the Irish people in New York. Surely that qualifies us?

And it went forever... And ever... So much so that we went shopping instead. Three hours later, I looked out a shop window and it was still going. So it was probably just as well - our poor feet couldn't handle it.

Well this year I got my chance. We went in the New York New York parade... In Las Vegas.

The NYNY hotel simulates the shops (and slot machines) of downtown New York. There is even a ride called the Manhattan Express. Which, ironically, can steal your money, but by using G-forces.

And they have the St Pat's parade around the block. Not outside on the road, but inside - around the casino. The feet were happy with this new, innovative, solution.

Naturally we joined in.

Starting at one bar, and ending at another - it is a fine tradition. We even went over the Brooklyn Bridge (photo). And good Guinness was had by all.

The end.

We got married... Again

Before we got married (the first time) we discussed eloping - and joking about going to Las Vegas and getting married by Elvis.

Well now we are.

Though Bridie would like to point out that we didn't get 'remarried' so much as 'renewed'. Otherwise I would have to pull a Homer Simpson, and get a quickie divorce first.

Elvis serenaded Bridie as he walked her down the isle. We sang Jailhouse Rock, but this time with Elvis (instead of the Blues Brothers). And finished with classic Viva Las Vegas. The King knows how to party.

And in less than half an hour we were out on the street. And almost immediately a Contiki bus load of Aussies piled in for a special night with Elvis. Some even congratulated us on getting married.

When we arrived we met a young bride standing in the foyer, waiting to get married. And after we left another couple and entourage turned up. Even while standing on the street looking for a cab, a number of cars honked. Clearly Vegas is the place to get married. And the Graceland Wedding Chapel is a tradition - even smacked-out celebs get married here

There are photos and a video, which we haven't watch yet. But you can check the photos on the website:
www.dotphoto.com
Username: Graceland
Password: SBBAU

And in the drink

As part of the leadership training we found out what real sailors get up to in their spare time.

They practice saving a sinking ship.

So now we are in our bright orange jumpsuits about to do the same thing.

These things are waterproof, up to a point. And that point is when you're fully immersed, and the ship is officially taking on water.

It all starts in a small room above water level. The captain comes on the radio announcing incoming air raid. Suddenly the lights go out and water is flooding into the room. We then have to climb into the bowls of the ship looking at where the leaks are, and how to seal them.

And all we've got is a bunch of wooden wedges and a hammer.

The navy have obviously given this a lot of thought and there is a plan for all types of hole. It is not just about smacking wood into holes that are letting in the water. It's also about putting bracing poles in place and using whatever we can to seal up holes.

Seems easy? The water gushing in the holes is about 6 degrees, we are up to our waist in the water and the ship is rocking back and forth. So at times the water is up to your neck, filling you 'waterproof' suit with icy water.

Anyway, we seemed to save the ship. But you should be glad that the nations defences are not in our hands.

In the navy

Steve ditches the wife and heads for a life at sea!

Actually this is HMS Bristol, firmly teathered to the port. Still it is a ship, and part of the navy.

And if you look for Whale Island in google maps you see it in the southwest corner of the island.

The whole island is part of HMS Excellent, a training base for naval personnel.


But it wasn't all uniforms, marching and sump-up-the-rump. Steve was there as part of a leadership course. And there's nothing like sleeping in the cramped confines of a ship to teach leadership.

And I think being woken at 6:30 in the morning by a announcement akin to 'all hands on deck' might be part of leadership.

This is not what the Village People sang about in their classic lullaby: "In the Navy"

They're everywhere!

There is this guy known as Banksy; originally from Bristol in the UK, he has travelled around the world creating his own form of guerilla graffiti art.

Most of his work appears in the UK, but only for a short time as most of the authorities consider it graffiti and not art - and therefore paint over it.

Most of his work usually involves a political or social statement - though we're not sure everyone gets it.

Bridie found this little fella just around the corner from her work - ironically behind St Brides church yard (one of London's major plague cemeteries). We don't know how long he'll last, but we'll see.

If you want to see more about Banksy, check out his website:

http://www.banksy.co.uk/

Here is another link that shows his work in situ:

http://www.artofthestate.co.uk/Banksy/banksy.htm

The land of the Long Hot Sauna

Once again Steve has been out and about in the snow, this time naked:

A recent work trip took me to Oulu in Finland. Oulu is halfway up Finland, on the west coast. And this time of year it is pretty much white as far as the eye can see. Snow snow snow. Even the snowmen are cold.

And to celebrate our project kickoff we went to a small manor house, had some food, a few beers and into the sauna. But this house had two types of sauna; a normal one and a smoke sauna.

You make a smoke sauna by not putting a chimney in your sauna, and then burning some wood. It leaves a great smell, but the inside is covered in a fine soot. And when you get up you have a big black mark on your bum.

Damn those Finnish Saunas are hot. After a half hour of sweating out with a whole bunch of naked men, there is nothing better than a roll in the snow. Okay there is one thing better - dipping in the ice cold water. And I can tell you now that the testicles did not see the cold water coming. Oh... BRISK!

And repeat.

I had a few goes in the various saunas. I even sat in the snow for a while. Which really hurt - and the pain stays with you afterwards; until the whole area warms up. If there wasn't a crack there already I would have broken it clean off.

Apparently smoke saunas are quite rare nowadays. They have a tendency to burn down.

I would have posted photos, but my bag and camera were stolen in Heathrow. So you'll just have to imagine me standing there naked. Oh yeah.

Bridie gets a Crackberry

Bridie's work has finally dragged her into the addictive world of Crackberry. She now has more gadgets than Steve - where's the envy!

While Bridie has now joined the sad world of being accessible via email 24/7 - it will not be joining us on holidays!

Really... we just wanted an excuse to use this photo (taken at the Edinburgh Festival last year).

Pissweak world: The brewery museum

Just back from Brussels, and we thought we'd share a special nook of this fine town.

Just off the Grand Place in the centre of town is a Beer Museum. It amounts to two rooms. A room full of oldish stuff. And a room full of newish stuff.

And then you're done.

All for 4 euros each.

The photo is of other people mesmerised at how bad this place is.

But at the end you get a free (small) beer. If only to get the taste of blatant exploitation out of your mouth.

Happy New Year 2006

Since we had a big trip to Aus not so long ago, Steve is sick of airplanes; crammed in a metal tube for hours.

But we just *had* to do something for New Year's Eve. So we booked a big metal tube that goes along the ground instead.

We took the Eurostar to Brussels.

Brussels has probably about 2-3 days worth of tourism. But over the holiday season this drops dramatically as things shut. And so we probably spent too long there. So much so that we even ended up in an Irish pub wondering what to do next. The Irish know how to answer that question.

But we did get to see fireworks as they put on a good 20 minutes of stuff-blowing-up.

In the time leading up to midnight they have music playing - mostly local rock music. And the 10,000 or so people are singing along. So it was kind of fun, rather than the waiting-around that goes on in London.

So we wish you all a happy and prosperous New Year. May you get more of the stuff you like.

Steve and Bridie

First Snow!

First snow of the season. Already the trains are beginning to get delayed...

Behind you!

http://www.oldvictheatre.com/whatson.php?id=26

You might be mistaken in thinking that you are looking at a very ugly woman, when in fact it is Gandalf - in drag!

Yes that's right - in the great tradition of English pantomime, Sir Ian McKellen is playing a female lead in the Old Vic's Christmas panto of Aladdin.

Thankfully, given the seriousness and quality of the Vic's usual productions, they didn't spray water and throw out sweets - being in the front row we might have found ourselves swamped. We did however get a nice view up Sir Ian's dress a time or two!

This being our first ever Christmas panto, we went for the posh version to begin with. Honestly how can anyone pass up the chance to see Gandalf/Magneto prancing (literally) around stage in a hideously garish house coat.

As with all pantos, children were present and the jokes and gags suited to both them and to the adults in the audience. There were the famous moments of (very loud) audience participation like 'Behind you!' and 'Oh no it isn't', along with enthusiastic booing and hissing for the ubiquitous villain. There were scenes and Acts that had no place in the original tale of Aladdin - but we are told that that is what panto is all about.

So next year we think we'll go and see a local panto and see what it is really all about, preferably not in the front row, given what we've heard about the water!

p.s. Emily - the mold is truly broken now - our second production without any cast from The Bill in it! I can only hope, that the Old Vic, not being a West End theatre, doesn't count.

Steve gets a job.

Two days of unemployment and I started with Symbian, another mobile phone company. Though they sell software for mobile phones rather than the mobiles themselves.

You may have heard of them (us!) if you have an expensive phone. They sell the operating system that runs the fancy graphics and programs. Mostly on top end phones, though - apparently we cost a lot.

Symbian is based in the Waterloo area, so that means I can meet Bridie for lunch, drinks after work or even see a show. Like 'A Christmas Carol' mentioned in the previous post. It also means I could skate home, maybe...

www.symbian.com

Marley was dead to begin with

http://www.christmascaroluk.com/

Imagine yourself in a small intimate theatre, there is only one man on stage and a few scant props - you are enthralled for two and half hours by the most singular, impressive theatrical performance you have ever seen.

That was us last night watching Patrick Stewart perform 'A Christmas Carol' in a one-man show in London. He played all forty characters in the book and it was amazing how you recognised and empathised with each and every one.

It is truely amazing to believe that one man can take you through nearly the whole range of human emotions, joy, sadness, horror and so on; but Patrick did and did it so well that he was met with a standing ovation, the likes of which we have never seen in our three years of theatre going in London. Just about every person in the theatre leapt to their feet for the first curtain call and stayed that way for four more.

And it didn't stop there..... on our way to catch the tube home, we noticed a small crowd standing outstide the Stage Door and we thought, "what the heck". So we decided to huddle with the others in the hope of glimpsing the great man in person. We waited around fifteen minutes, in which we were treated with seeing Ken Stott (Mr Dursely from the Harry Potter movies and a great English character actor) and Zoe Wanamaker (a grand dame of English theatre and Professor Hooch in Harry Potter) leaving to make way for the one we were all waiting for.

...and out he came, not as tall as I expected, a baseball cap on his head and a marker pen at the ready. He graciously signed autographs for his excited fans. I whipped out my programme and managed to get his autograph and speak with him briefly - oooooooooh - who's in heaven!


Note for Emily - it was our first London theatre production where nobody in the cast had previously appeared in The Bill! For everyone else - Emily had a theory that you couldn't stage a theatrical production in London without at least one actor having appeared in The Bill. Admittedly, up to this point she's been right - but now the magic has been broken.

Last day at Samsung

The end of an era. Yesterday was my last day at Samsung. About 60 of us were being made redundant.

A melancholy day, worthy of ye olde Shakespeare. Friends I won't be seeing as often, establish routines that need to change, and the never ending procession of emails that have halted abruptly. I shall also miss the excellent Korean food in the canteen.

It's true there was some drinking afterwards. Though to be fair it was a Christmas party too. But most people were taking the news well. Quite a few have jobs to go to (a disturbing number will be paid a fortune to live in the south of France, bastards), and the rest are quietly optimistic.

Now I am unemployed. At least until Monday, where hopefully the phoenix will be reborn.

Sharp enough to cut through time

We bought knives on the weekend.

And no, not just any old knife. We bought knives that work like light sabres - they just seem to glide through flesh. Without all that annoying 'The Force' stuff.

Now I don't want to go out and praise the knife. It's just a tool. But there is definitely good and evil lurking within.

There is a sharp and pointy side, and a warm, contoured and round side. The blade says "wash me at your own peril, for I will slice your hands in the sink." While the handle side retorts "all is well my lord, stay with me and we shall be safe."

Okay, maybe the knife is talking to me. But I know which side I'd rather be on...

I cooked dinner last night. And we ended up with too many potatos in the dish because I was enjoying cutting them. Like cutting through butter. Ironically, cutting through butter is no easier.

Now I know how the Samurai felt. Hacking, slashing and swishing, all on the whim of their Shogun.

Any, this is a bit of rant. But isn't that what blogs are for; ranting, not contributing?

Update - redundant salmonella

Well the Salmonella police haven't come around. Instead some nice lady rang up Bridie and asked about everything. Clearly she was too scared to come around herself. Probably scrubbing her phone with alcohol still. But the pandemic crisis seems to have been averted.

Lucky Bridie didn't tell her about the birds we are keeping under the sink. They're not looking very chirpy...

The big news is that my job is 'at risk of being made redundant.' That's right, Steve could be out on the street with nothing to do. Time to buy a Hoodie, and speak using a lot of 'f' words. In Australia I would have to change my name to Stevo.

I had a short dream about lounging around at home in the manner to which I am accustomed. Playing video games, watching daytime TV, and cashing cheques for the government. But a quick check of the finances indicated that this was a non-starter. Apparently I am high maintenance - who would have thought?

And eBay won't let me sell my liver and kidneys online.

Bridie, of course, is fine. She had a small pay rise, but not enough to pay for a layabout husband. She also refuses to part with her kidneys.

Salmon-whata?

It turns out that I had Salmonella. That's right - food poisoning. It wasn't due to overeating. Hard to believe, I know. But the Posted Poo tested positive for a little bug named after an American scientist named Salmon.

According to CDC:
Most persons infected with Salmonella develop diarrhea, fever, and abdominal cramps 12 to 72 hours after infection

So the Burj lawyers can relax.

But this isn't over yet. Apparently Salmonella is a reportable disease. So I'm waiting for the guys in space suits to turn up and put our house into a giant plastic bag. Like the sad part of ET.

Anyway, I'll keep you informed of my progress. Depends if they let me blog from within the bubble.

Burn it all!

The English do irony really well. Terrorists wanted to blow up the houses of parliament 400 years ago. And we're out celebrating it.

Still, they didn't pull it off - so I guess that is something.

The last week around here has been military general's heaven. Stuff blowing up all over the place. The masses have access to flying explosive things and by-gum they're gonna use them.

Fireworks are on sale in some food stores, and all of the dodgy stores. Names such as The Phantom, Banshee, and my personal favourite Monkeys with Exploding Coconuts. Oooo... That's gotta hurt.

There is even one called 'Bunker Buster' which was used by the forces in the Gulf.

But I blog because the park near us (called South Park) has a community group dedicated to it: Friends of South Park. And every year they have a bonfire and fireworks show. And this year we got all local and wandered down.

And it is really sweet - hotdogs and chocolate crackles for the kids, mulled wine for the adults, and stuff burning and other stuff exploding with bright lights in the air. And with every explosion the kids howled louder.

A real community thing. Probably not what the original terrorists were planning originally, but they would approve now.